I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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