Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
