It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
now i know why i became what i already was.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
