Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
