i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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