Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
