i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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