69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize