his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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