Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm always down for nudity.
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