id be glad to
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm at about main and main street
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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