piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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