I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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