this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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