He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
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The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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