Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
