I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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