Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
