I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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