i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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