the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
