Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
