i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
