I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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