so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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