dude i'm inner monologue high
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She bit a glass in half.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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