She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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