Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
