Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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