I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
