I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
