every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
