The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
