I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize