I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
BRING THE BAGELS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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