Buhtt sex?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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