ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize