a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize