I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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