I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
