I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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