i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
