Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
