I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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