I need to stop coming to work sober
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
