im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize