I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
