I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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