Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
