I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
