My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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