One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
