I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
