I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
