I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
