You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
