I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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