my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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