yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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