I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize