Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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