I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need water and some morals
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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