Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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