I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize