I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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