im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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