what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
